篇一：趣味英语：笑话三则
趣味英语：笑话三则之Do You Know My Work?
One night a hotel caught fire， and the people who were staying in it ran out in their nigh clothes. Two men stood outside and looked at the fire.
“Before I came out，” said one，“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money. People don’t think of money when they’re afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in a fire， the fire burns it. So I took all the bills that I could find.No one will be poorer because I took them.” “You don’t know my work，” said the other. “What is your work?” “I’m a policeman.
“Oh!” cried the first man. He thought quickly and said，“And do you know my work?”“No，”said the policeman. “I’m a writer. I’m always telling stories about things that never happened.”
【译文】
你知道我是干什么的吗?
一天晚上，一家旅馆失火，住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡 衣就跑了出来。 两个人站在外面，看着大火。
“在我出来之前，”其中一个说：“我跑进一些房间，找到了一大笔钱。人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的。如果有人把纸币留在火里，火就会把它烧成灰烬。所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了。没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷。” “你不知道我是干什么的。”另一个说。 “你是干什么的?”
“我是警察。”
“噢!”第一个人喊了一声。他灵机一动，说：“那你知道我是干什么的?”“不知道。”警察说。 “我是个作家。我总是爱编一些从未发生过的故事。”
趣味英语：笑话三则之 Who is the laziest
Father:Well,Jack,I talked with your teacher today .And now I want to ask you a question ,Who is the laziest person inyour class ?
Jack:I don`t know ,father.
Father:Oh,think!When other boys and girls are reading and wirting ,who sits quietly and only watch how other people word?
Jack:Our teacher ,father.
【译文】
谁是最懒惰的
爸爸：杰克，我今天已经和你的老师谈过了，现在我想问你，谁是你们班上最懒的人?
杰克：我不知道，爸爸
爸爸：你再好好想想，当别的同学都在读书写字的时候，谁楞在那儿仅仅是看着其他人?
杰克：是我们的老师，爸爸
趣味英语：笑话三则之 What Is a Traitor?
Young hopeful：“Father，what is a traitor in politics?”
Father(a veteran politician)：“A traitor is a man who leaves our party and goes over to the other one.”
Young hopeful：“Well then，what is a man who leaves his party and comes over to yours?”
Father：“A convert，my son.”
【译文】
什么叫叛徒?
有希望的青年人：“父亲，什么叫政治叛徒?”
父亲(一位老资格的政治家)：“叛徒指的是离开我们党而加入到另一个党的人。”
有希望的青年人：“那么，离开他的党而加入到我们党的人又叫什么呢?”
父亲：“叫改变信仰者。我的儿子。”
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篇二：英语幽默笑话三则
英语幽默笑话三则
学英语不一定要沉闷地看阅读写作文，不如试试读英语笑话吧！不仅有趣，而且尝试讲给朋友听，还可以能提升口语能力呢。有了趣味性往往能让人学的更有动力，不是吗？
第一则 ：First Flight
Mr. Johnson had never been up in an aeroplane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small plane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane.
His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight was the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes.
After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, "Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, don’t they?"
"Those are ants," answered his friend. "We’re still on the ground."
【第一次坐飞机】
约翰逊先生从前未乘过飞机，他读过许多关于飞行事故的报道。所以，有一天一位朋友邀请他乘自己的小飞机飞行时，约翰逊先生非常担心，不敢接受。不过，由于朋友不断保证说飞行是很安全的，约翰逊先生终于被说服了，登上了飞机。 他的朋友启动引擎开始在机场跑道上滑行。约翰逊先生听说飞行中最危险的是起飞与降落，所以他吓得紧闭双眼。
过了一两分钟，他睁开双眼朝窗外望去，接着对朋友说道：“看下面那些人，他们看起来就象蚂蚁一样小，是不是？”
“那些就是蚂蚁，”他的朋友答道，“我们还在地面上。”
第二则 ：Creative
Applying for my first job, I realized I had to be creative in listing my few qualifications. Asked about additional schooling and training, I answered truthfully that I had spent three years in computer programming classes. I got the job.
I had neglected to mention that I took the same course for three years before I passed.
【创造性】
第一次求职时，我意识到在列举我所具备的为数不多的条件时，得有点创造性。当问及我是否受过其它的培训时，我老实地回答说我花了三年时间学计算机程序设计课。我得到了那份工作。
我没有提到那门功课我重复学了三年才考及格。
第三则 ：A Nail Or A Fly?
An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel room with a bottle of wine in each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment he hung them on, the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the floor. When a waitress discovered what had happened, she showed deep sympathy for him and decided to do him a favour.
So the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered a nail exactly where the fly had stayed.
Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident. When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefully and slapped it with all his strength. On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor old man was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding!
【钉子还是苍蝇？】
一位视力正在衰退的老绅士住进了一家旅馆的客房。他双手各拿一瓶酒。在墙上有只苍蝇，他误以为是枚钉子。他把两只瓶子朝上一挂，瓶子掉下来摔碎了，酒洒了一地。一个女服务员发现发生的事情以后，对他深表同情，决定帮他个忙。 于是，第二天早上他到楼顶花园散步时，她把一枚钉子钉在了苍蝇停过的地方。 这里，老人回到了房里。倒洒的酒味让他想起了那件事。他抬头往墙上一看，苍蝇又停在了那儿!他轻手轻脚地走近，使尽全力拍了一掌。听到一声大叫，好心的女服务员冲进房来。让她大为吃惊的是，可怜的老头正坐在地板上，牙关紧咬，右手滴血不止
篇三：轻松一刻——小笑话
轻松一刻
一群动物到海上旅行，船突然出现故障超载要扔掉一些东西减轻重量，不然会沉没。这时一个动物提议：所有动物都讲一个笑话，如果有一个动物觉得不好笑就要把它扔下船。羊先说，说完之后除了猪没笑大家都笑了，羊就被扔下船。接着牛讲笑话，牛讲完之后大家都没笑就猪大笑。大家不解的问猪：你为什么笑？它回答说：我终于想通了羊讲的笑话为什么好笑。
一只小狗爬上你的餐桌，向一只烧鸡爬去，你大怒道：你敢对那只烧鸡怎样，我就敢对你怎样，结果小狗舔了一下鸡屁股，你昏倒，小狗乐道：小样看谁狠！。
一对情侣情人节在河边散布。天气有点凉.女方觉得好冷就对男方说:亲爱的今天晚上好冷啊。然后看了看那男生。那男的犹豫了一下说：是啊。还好我穿了两件衣服。
英语四级考试前一个月，某同学的QQ签名是“事在人为”；考前一周，改为“一切随缘”；考试结束后，签名为“重在
参与”。
一只小白兔去酒吧，问道：叔叔，有胡萝卜吗？叔叔答道：我们没有??”第二天，小白兔又来到酒吧，问道：叔叔，有胡萝卜吗？叔叔答道：我们没有??”第三天，小白兔去酒吧，问道：叔叔，有胡萝卜吗？那位叔叔不耐烦的说：下次你在来问这问题我就把你订到墙上！！第四天小白兔又来了，说道：叔叔，有钉子吗？叔叔答道：我们没有??”“那好，有胡萝卜吗？”。
蚂蚁和大象才刚结婚没两天，就闹着要离婚！ 法官问其原因，蚂蚁说：“能不离吗？接个吻都要爬20分钟！” 大象当仁不让，痛斥道：“离，坚决离！接个吻都要拿放大镜找半天，好不容易找到了，喘口气，又没影了！
飞机上，一只鹦鹉对空姐说：“给爷来杯水”，猪也学鹦鹉，对空姐说：“给爷来杯水”，空姐大怒，将鹦鹉和猪都扔下了飞机。这时鹦鹉对猪说：“傻了吧，爷会飞”。
《轻松一刻英语笑话三则》出自：百味书屋
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