篇一：经典英语小笑话带翻译
1、Be Careful What You Wish For
A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.
During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."
The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.
慎重许愿
一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。
庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。
妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。
接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻，害羞地说，“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。”
仙女拾起了魔术棒。“呯!”，他变成了90岁。
2、All Right
Hurrying my 11-year old daughter to school, I made a right turn at a red light when it was prohibited. "Uh-oh," I said, realizing my mistake. "I just make an illegal turn."
"I guess it's all right." my daughter replied, "The police car behind us did the same thing."
没关系
我赶着开车将11岁的女儿送到学校去，在红灯处右拐了，而那是不允许的(译注:在一些国家如英国,其交通规则是车辆左行的,与我国相反)。“啊噢，”意识到犯了错误，我说。“我刚才拐弯是违章的。”
“我想那没关系的，”女儿回答说：“我们后面的警车也同样拐了弯。”
更多英语学习方法：企业英语培训
篇二：英文小笑话：A Monkey and a Flea
Mum: Baby, what’s the difference between a monkey and a flea? Baby: One is big and one is small.
Mum: Anything else?
Baby: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can’t have monkeys.
妈妈：猴子和跳蚤有什么不同呢？
儿子：它们俩一大一小。
妈妈：还有呢？
儿子：猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。 英文小笑话二则
英文小笑话：My Uncle
更多英语学习方法：企业英语培训
篇三：英语口语练习(绕口令、小笑话、俚语)
A tidy tiger tied a tie tighter to tidy her tiny tail。
一只老虎将领带系紧，清洁它的尾巴。
A bloke’s back bike brake block broke。
一个家伙的脚踏车后制动器坏了。
A big black bug bit a big black bear, made the big black bear bleed blood。
大黑虫咬大黑熊，大黑熊流血了！
A bitter biting bittern bit a better brother bittern, and the bitter better bittern bit the bitter bittern back. And the bitter bittern, bitten, by the better bitten bittern, said: “I’m a bitter biter bit, alack!”
一只沮丧而尖刻的麻鹊咬了它兄弟一口，而没有它那么沮丧的兄弟又咬它一口。那只被咬的沮丧麻鹊对它的兄弟说：“我是一只充满怨恨的麻鹊！我害人终害己了！”
A flea and a fly flew up in a flue. Said the flea, “Let us fly!” Said the fly, “Let us flee!” So they flew through a flaw in the flue。
一只跳蚤和一只苍蝇飞进烟道里。跳蚤说：“让我们飞吧！”苍蝇说：“让我们逃跑吧！”就这样，它们就飞越了烟道里的一条裂纹。
A tutor who tooted a flute tried to tutor two tooters to toot. Said the two to their tutor, “Is it harder to toot or to tutor two tooters to toot?”
一个吹笛的导师尝试教两个吹笛者吹笛。那两个学吹笛的问导师：“吹笛难，还是教两个学吹笛的人吹笛难呢？”
All I want is a proper cup of coffee made in a proper copper coffee pot, you can believe it or not, but I just want a cup of coffee in a proper coffee pot. Tin coffee pots or iron coffee pots are of no use to me. If I can’t have a proper cup of coffee in a proper copper coffee pot, I’ll have a cup of tea!
我只想要一杯用真正铜制的咖啡壶煮的正统咖啡。信不信由你，我只想要一杯用真正铜制的咖啡壶煮的正统咖啡。锡制的咖啡壶和铁制的咖啡壶对我而言也是没用的。假如我不能要一杯用真正铜制的咖啡壶煮的正统咖啡，那我就要一杯茶吧！
How much dew would a dewdrop drop if a dewdrop could drop dew?
如果一颗露珠会掉下露水，那么一颗露珠会掉下多少露水呢？
A snow-white swan swam swiftly to catch a slowly-swimming snake in a lake。
湖中一只雪白的天鹅快速地游动着去追赶一条慢慢游动的蛇。
A skunk sat on a stump. The skunk thought the stump stunk, and the stump thought the skunk stunk。 一只臭鼬坐在树墩上，臭鼬认为树墩发臭，而树墩又认为臭鼬发臭。
Sandy sniffed sweet smelling sunflower seeds while sitting beside a swift stream。 桑迪坐在湍急的小溪边尽情地品味着葵花子的香味。
A pleasant peasant keeps a pleasant pheasant and both the peasant and the pheasant are having a pleasant time together。
一位和气的农民养了一只伶俐的野鸡，而且这位和气的农民和这只伶俐的野鸡在一起度过了一段很美好的时光。
(1) A writer named Wright was instructing his little son how to write Wright right. He said:" It is not right to write Wright as 'rite'-try to write Wright aright!
(一个名叫赖特的作家正在指导他年幼的儿子怎样把赖特写对。他说：“把赖特写成‘仪式’是不对的-要把赖特写正确!”)
(2) Ann sent Andy ten hens and Andy sent Ann ten pens。
(安给安迪送了10只母鸡，安迪给安送了10支钢笔。)
(3) Canners can can what they can can but can not can things can't be canned。
(罐头工人能够把他们能做成罐头的东西制成罐头，但是不能把无法制成罐头的东西制成罐头。)
(4) Good cookies could be cooked by a good cook if a good cook could cook good cookies。 (如果一位好的厨师能做出美味小甜品的话，那么好吃的小甜品是能够由这位厨师制作出来的。)
(5) Jenny and Jimmy went to Jamaica and Germany in January, but Joan and John went to Jordan and Japan in June and July。
(詹妮和吉米一月去了牙买加和德国，而琼和约翰在六、七月去了约旦和日本。)
(6) A cricket critically cricked at a critical cricket match, and so this cricket quitted the cricket match quickly。
(一只蟋蟀在一场关键性斗蟋比赛中发生严重的痉挛，于是这只蟋蟀很快退出了比赛。)
(7) Bill's big brother is building a beautiful building between two big brick blocks (比尔的哥哥正在两座大砖房之间建造一座漂亮的房子。)
(8) There are thirty thousand feathers on that thrush's throat。
(那只画眉鸟的颈前就长着三万根羽毛。)
(9) A flea and a fly were trapped in a flue, and they tried to flee for their life. The flea said to the fly "let''s flee!" and the fly said to the flea"Let's fly!.Finally both the flea and fly managed to flee through a flaw in the flue。
(一只跳蚤和一只苍蝇被诱进了一根管子里，它们努力逃命。跳蚤对苍蝇说：“让我们逃吧!”苍蝇对跳蚤说：“让咱们飞吧!”最后，两个都设法通过那管子的一个裂隙逃走了。)
(10) Peter Piper picked a peck of picket prepared by his parents and put them in a big paper plate。
(彼得·派博把他伯父母腌制的泡菜辣椒取出许多，并且将它们放在一个大纸盘里。)
11. Betty beat a bit of butter to make a better butter.
贝蒂敲打一小块黄油要做一块更好的奶油面。
12. Rita repeated what Reardon recited when Reardon read the remarks.
当里尔登读评论时，丽塔重复里尔登背诵的东西。
13. Few free fruit flies fly from flames.
没有几只果蝇从火焰中飞过去。
14. Fifty-five flags freely flutter from the floating frigate.
五十五面旗子在轻轻漂浮的战舰上自由的飘扬。
15. There is no need to light a night light on a light night like tonight.for a bright night light is just like a slight light.
像今夜这样明亮的夜晚，就不需要点一盏夜灯，因为明亮的夜灯也会变得微弱。
17. A pleasant peasant keeps a pleasant pheasant and both the peasant and the pheasant are having a pleasant time together.
一位和气的农民养了一只伶俐的野鸡，而且这位和气的农民和这只伶俐的野鸡在一起度过了一段很美好的时光。
18. How many sheets could a sheet slitter slit if a sheet slitter could slit sheets? 如果裁纸机能裁纸的话，一个裁纸机能裁多少张纸呢？
19. Mr. See owned a saw and Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw before Soar saw See.
西先生有一个锯，萨先生有一个秋千。现在在萨先生看见西先生之前，西先生的锯锯断了萨先生的秋千。
20. If you're keen on stunning kites and cunning stunts, buy a cunning stunning stunt kite.
如果你非常相要好的风筝和精彩的表演，就去买一只漂亮的，灵巧的风筝吧。
f you should put even a little on a little, and should do this often, soon this too would become big.伟大的事业是通过不懈努力，一砖一瓦堆起来的。
victory won’t come to me unless i go to it.胜利是不会向我们走来的，我必须自己走向胜利。
all that you do, do with your might; things done by halves are never done right.做一切事情都应尽力而为，不可半途而废。
do nor for one repulse, for go the purpose that you resolved to effort.不要因为一次挫折就放弃你原来决心要达到的目标。
for all pain helps to make us rise, however much we may hate it at the time.一切痛苦都有助于我们奋发向上，不论我们当时是多么憎恨它。
fortune shows her power when there is no wise preparation for resisting her.没有向命运抗争的明智准备，命运便会显示其威力。
good courage breaks bad luck.勇气可以改变厄运。
great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance.大业成于百折不挠，不论力量大小。 he who seize the right moment, is the right man.谁把握机遇，谁就心想事成。
hope for the best and prepare for the worst.抱最好的希望 做最坏的大算。
a man can fail many times, but he isn’t a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.一个人可以失败很多次，但是只要他没有开始责怪旁人，他还不是一个失败者。
a strong man will struggle with the storms of fate.强者能同命运的风暴抗争。
a thousand-li journey is started by taking the first step.千里之行，始于足下。
in time of prosperity,friends will be plenty ,in time of adversity,not one amongst twenty. 得势时朋友盈门，失势时不见一人,富在深山有远亲，穷在闹市无人问。
man errs as long as he strives.失误是进取的代价。
man struggles upwards; water flows downwards. 人往高处走，水往低处流。
no road of flowers lead to glory.没有一条通往光荣的道路是铺满鲜花的。
nothing in the world is difficult for one who sets his mind on it.世上无难事，只怕有心人。
on life’s earnest battle they only prevail, who daily march onward and never say fail.生活在顽强战斗中，只有每天不屈不挠奋勇向前的人才能取得胜利。
perseverance is falling nineteen times and succeeding the twentieth.只要坚韧不拔，失败十九次之后，第二十次就会成功。
poverty is not a shame, but the being ashamed of it is.贫穷非耻辱 耻贫乃耻。
prosperity is not without many fears and disasters, adversity is not without comforts and hopes.幸运中并非不搀杂各种担心与烦恼，而厄运中也并非不存在欣慰与期望。
strength alone knows conflict, weakness is below even defeat, and is born vanquished. 只有强者才懂得斗争；弱者甚至失败都不够资格，而是生来就是被征服的。
the darkest hour is that before the dawn.黎明之前最黑暗。
the drop of rain makes a hole in the stone, not by violence, but by of falling.雨滴穿石，不是靠蛮力，而是靠持之以恒。
the horizon of life is broadened chiefly by the enlargement of the heart.生活的地平线是随着心灵的开阔而变得宽广的。
wish you an endless view to cheer your eyes, then one more story mount and higher rise.欲穷千里目，更上一层楼。
Business before pleasure.事业在先，享乐在后。
Between two stools one falls to the ground.脚踏两头要落空。
What makes life dreary is the want of motive. 没有了目的，生活便郁闷无光。
Living without an aim is like sailing without a compass. — John Ruskin生活没有目标，犹如航海没有罗盘。– 罗斯金
The shortest answer is doing.最简短的回答就是行动。
None is of freedom or of life deserving unless he daily conquers it anew. -Erasmu只有每天再度战胜生活并夺取自由的人，才配享受生活的自由。
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
《英语口语小笑话》出自：百味书屋
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