篇一：超简短的5个英文笑话
超简短的5个英文笑话 1.
Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. 老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。
One boy throws his bag out the window.
一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。
Teacher: who just threw that?!
老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了?
Boy: Me! I’m going home now.
男孩：我!我现在要回家了。
2.
What dog can jump higher than a building?
什么狗比大楼跳的还高?
Anydog, buildings can't jump!
任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。
3.
What has a head, a tail, and no body?
什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体?
A coin!
硬币。
4.
What has one eye but cannot see?
什么有一只眼睛，却看不见?
A needle.
针。
5.
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
妻子：你会怎么形容我呢?
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK.
Wife: "What does that mean?"
妻子：那是什么意思?
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
妻子：哇，谢谢，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
丈夫：开个玩笑!
篇二：小学四年级英语笑话1
1.we two who and who？ 咱俩谁跟谁阿
2．how are you ? how old are you? 怎么是你，怎么老是你？
3．you don't bird me,I don't bird you 你不鸟我，我也不鸟你
4．you have seed I will give you some color to see see, brothers ！ together up ！ 你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上！
5．hello everybody! if you have something to say,then say!if you have nothing to say,go home!! 有事起奏，无事退朝
6．you me you me 彼此彼此
7．You Give Me Stop!! 你给我站住！
8．know is know noknow is noknow 知之为知之，不知为不知...
9．WATCH SISTER 表妹
10．dragon born dragon,chicken born chicken,mouse'son can make hole!!龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子会打洞！
11．American Chinese not enough 美中不足
12．one car come one car go ,two car pengpeng,people die 车祸现场描述
13．heart flower angry open 心花怒放
14．go past no mistake past 走过路过，不要错过
15. 小明：I am sorry! 老外：I am sorry too!
小明：I am sorry three! 老外：What are you sorry for?
小明：I am sorry five!
16．If you want money,I have no; if you want life,I have one! 要钱没有，要命一条
17．I call Li old big. toyear。 我叫李老大，今年25。
18．you have two down son。你有两下子
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？ 学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
回答者： 893053124 | 一级 | 2009-2-8 11:48
A farmer has five sons.They are Ted,Bob,Tom,John and Bill. John has no
elder brother. He was four years older when his first younger brother was born. The number of Tom's elder brothers is equal to his younger brothers. Bill will be twenty-one years old next year, and he is five years older than Bob. Bob is two years younger than Tom. Ted was sad because he has no younger brother. There are twelve years between him and John.
一个农民有5个儿子。他们是Ted,Bob,Tom,John 和 Bill。John没有比他大的哥哥，他比第一个出生的比他小的那个弟弟大4岁，Tom哥哥的数量和他的弟弟的数量是一样的（就是他是老三）Bill 明年就21岁了，他比Bob大5岁，比Tom小2岁，Ted因为没有弟弟而难过 Ted 和John之间差了12岁
I work for 7up"! 我可是在七喜公司工作呀
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says,
"Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说: "恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
Five Hundred Times 五百遍
In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."
在中西部一个大城市的交通法庭里，一位年轻女士被带到法官面前，她由于开车闯红灯被开了罚单。女士向法官解释，她是一名学校老师，请求法官马上处理她的案子，以便可以赶回去上课。法官眼中闪过一丝狡黠，说道：“你是学校的老师，对吗？女士，我马上要实现我毕生的愿望了。在那张桌子旁坐下，写?我开车闯了红灯?500遍。”
Second language
A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice. Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life.
Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?"
一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步，突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽。
母老鼠向着猫叫道：“汪，汪，汪”，猫听了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。 母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说：“现在你知道外语的重要性了吧。”
It is half past five, School is over . Vicky comes back. His mother is not at home and the door is closed.His brother Jim likes sports. He is playing football in the school.His sister Becky likes music and she is singing with her friends.
Mrs Hyde comes back with a basket on her arm.Vicky sees his mother and runs to help her carry it.They come in and the girl finds there are three cakes in a bag. They are her favorite food and she wants to eat them.
"The other two are for Jim and Becky,"says his mother. "You can have one." "But I am hungry now,Mum."says the girl,"May I have two?" "Yes,you can ."Says the mother,"Go and cut yours in half."
现在是5:30,放学了.Vicky回来了.他的妈妈不在家而且门是关着的.他的哥哥Jim喜欢做运动.他正在学校踢足球.他的姐姐Becky喜欢音乐,她正在和她的朋友一起唱歌.
Hyde太太回来时拿着一个篮子.Vicky看见了他的妈妈然后跑过去帮她拿篮子.他们进来,这个女孩发现包里有3个蛋糕.这是她最喜欢的食物,她想吃.
"另外两个是给Jim和Becky的."她妈妈说."你可以吃一个.""但是我现在饿了妈妈."这个女孩说."我能吃两个么?""是的你可以."妈妈说."去把你的切成两半."
A Supermarket
Near our school there is a supermarket. There are a lot of things in it. You can buy school things, like exercise books, rulers, pens, color pencils, erasers, maps and so on. You can buy drinks, vegetables, fruits, and other kinds of food. Some of them are cheap while some are expensive. On the second floor is the clothing section and there you can find different kinds of clothes.
The supermarket is open twelve hours a day : from 9:00 a. m. to 9:00 p.m. The workers in the supermarket are very friendly and they can help you find what you want.
On Saturdays and Sundays, the market is full of people.
一家超市
我们学校附近有一家超市。里面有好多东西。你可以买到学习用品，比如练习本、尺子、钢笔、彩色铅笔、橡皮和地图等等。你可以买饮料、蔬菜、水果和各种食品。有一些商品很便宜，而有一些却很贵。超市的二楼是服装区。在那儿，你可以见到各种各样的服装。
这家超市每天营业12小时，从上午9：00到晚上9：00。里面的工作人员狠热情，他们可以帮助你找到你要买的东西。
每到星期六和星期天，这里就挤满了顾客。
My childhood was happy with my mother's love. In my young heart, my mother was strong and healthy, and never got sick. She took me to the kindergarten and home every day, in spite of rain and wind.
But one day, after we got home from the kindergarten, my mother went into the bedroom and stayed in bed. I didn't know what had happened. I sat beside her and wanted to cry. My mother said to me, "It doesn't matter, mum has only a stomachache. I will be all right after a while." Although mother said so, I found tears in her eyes because of pain. At that time I knew adults also got ill and cried. I decided I would take care of my mother from then on.
在妈妈的呵护下，我的童年是快乐的。在我幼小的心灵中，妈妈强壮健康，永远不会生病。无论是下雨还是刮风，她每天带我在幼儿园和家之间穿梭。
但是有一天，我们从幼儿园回来后，妈妈进屋就躺在了床上。我禾知道发生什么了，坐在她旁边想哭。妈妈对我说：“没关系，妈妈只是胃疼，一会就会好。”虽然妈妈这么说，但我发现了她疼得眼中含着眼泪。那个时候我才知道大人也会生病，也会哭的。从那时起我决定要照顾妈妈。
Wings
The fried-chicken restaurant where I was working had a big rush just before closing one day, leaving us with nothing to sell but wings. As I was about to lock the doors, aa quietly intoxicated customer came in and ordered dinner. When I asked if wings would be all right, he leaned over the counter and replied, "Lady, I came in here to eat, not fly."
翅 膀
一天，我工作的炸鸡店在关门前出现了一阵抢购狂潮，结果除了鸡翅外所有的东西都卖完了。当我正准备锁门时，一名喝醉了的旅客进来要进餐。我问他翅膀行不行，他从柜台上靠过身子来，回答道：“女士，我到这儿来是吃东西的，不是要飞！”
Juanita: Hello! My name's Juanita Read.
What's your name?
Song Yang: I am Song Yang.
Juanita: Nice to meet you!
Song Yang: Nice to meet you, too! Where are you from?
Juanita: I'am from Oxford in England.
What about you?
Song Yang: Oh, I come from Xi'an in Shanxi.
Can you speak Chinese?
Juanita: I understand Chinese a little, but I don't speak it very well.
Song Yang: Oh, I understand English a little, but I don't speak it very well! Juanita: Then let's speak Chinglish!
Song Yang: Or Englese!
娟妮塔：你好！我叫娟妮塔.里德，你叫什么名字？
篇三：英语小笑话
英语小笑话
★清华大学★英语系测试：为中小学生英语量身定做.
官方网站：http://qinghua.yeryy.com/
清华大学英语教授研究组提供
和外国人拼英语
一人在公交车上不小心踏了外国人的脚，心想咱不能给中国人丢脸，于是卯足了劲说了句英文：“I’ m sorry”
外国人一想：在人家国土上咱不能不礼貌。于是忙点头：“I’ m sorry too” 此人一听急了：Two?以为我不会数数？咬牙道：“I’ m sorry three” 外国人大惑不 解：“What are you sorry for？”
此人心想好啊,连FOUR也出来了，我和你拼了!:
“I’ m sorry five!!!!”
追车
早上上班赶公共汽车，到站台的时候，汽车已经启动了。我只好边追边喊："师傅，等等我！师傅，等等我呀！"这时一乘客从车窗探出头来冲我说了一句："悟空你就别追了。"
让狗狗羞愧死
一楼住户不知从哪儿弄来一只大狗。初来乍到，它警惕性非常高，一有点响动就狂吠不已。我家在六楼，尽管每天上下楼蹑手蹑脚，但十有八九还是要被狂吠一通。我胆子小，狗一叫我就拼命跑，生怕它突然冲出来。 周日，我去接正在上英语培训班的小侄子到家里吃饭。刚进一楼，大狗照旧“汪汪汪”地叫起来，叫得我心惊肉跳。小侄子却一点也不害怕，扯起嗓子对着喊：“吐吐吐”。奇怪的是，“吐吐”几声后，大狗居然偃旗息鼓，不叫了，并且发出可怜的“哼哼”声。
回到家，我问小侄子用什么办法，居然能镇住这么凶猛的狗。小侄子洋洋得意地说：“当狗对你汪汪叫时，它其实是在说one，你就回two，这时狗因为无法回你three，非常惭愧，就不叫了。”
新起点小学一年级下册英语教案
梅河口市第三实验小学 高德秋
课题：Unit 11 Toys
教学目标:
1．能听说，认读单词toys, plane, ball, car, boat, doll,train,bus,teddy bear,pinwheel,box。
2．能听懂所学的玩具的单词。
3. 通过说说画画的活动进一步提高学生学习英语的兴趣。
重点：单词toys, plane, ball, car, boat, doll,train,bus,teddy
bear,pinwheel,box.
难点：单词：toys, plane,pinwheel的发音；Let’s chant部分的说唱。 教具准备：
l. 教师准备ball，train,bus,pinwheel，car，plane，boat，doll的图片和实物。
2. 教师准备B部分的彩色的图卡。
3. 教师准备 一首英语歌曲的磁带
教学过程：
1. 热身/复习（Warm-up/ Revision）
（l）复习上一个单元的单词。
（2）全班分两大组来唱第上一单元的Let’s chant。
2. 呈现新知（Presentation）
（1）请同学们说一说你的家里都有哪些玩具，看看谁能说到老师要讲的其中的一个。学生说到的玩具熊，教师就出示teddy bear的图片或实物教teddy bear，带读，并将图片和词卡贴在黑板上。用同样的方法教：ball，plane，boat，doll，car等等。
（2）让学生看这些玩具组成的动画，一边听看，一边指着书上相应的图，力求做到“眼到，手到，口到，心到”。
（3）让学生站起来，一边看动画，一边做动作。随后教师通过动作示范，让学生猜是哪个单词
3. 趣味操练（Practice）
（l）选词竞赛
将学生分为两大组，每组每次各派一个选手，教师说新词中的一个，选手快步到讲台上找到所说词的图片（注意活动的安全性），并举起图片大声读出单词，谁先完成即为胜利者，可为本组赢得一分。
（2）猜猜看
每次请一个同学在黑板上画一种刚学到的玩具，他每画一笔，就请班上的同学用英语猜他画的是什么。如猜得正确，就请下一位同学再重新开始画另一种物品。
（3）Let’s rhyme.
将所学的单词替换上一单元的Let’s chant中的生活物品。教师将全班分为两大组，教师举图片提示，如第一组说：I like a ball.第二组一起说：Me too. 拍手，举第二幅图时两组交换。以此类推。
（4）教师将单词的图片先面朝上贴在黑板上，给学生20秒时间记住这些单词，然后每张图卡用1张彩色纸盖上。学生要先说出彩色纸的颜色，再说出下面卡上的词。待学生熟悉后，可加大游戏难度，将盖着彩色纸的图卡在（黑板上）打乱，进行游戏。
（5）让学生听录音，说出图片上的玩具是什么，都是什么颜色的，然后将书上的B部分的图画图上颜色。
（6）教师将图卡打乱顺序，贴在黑板上，教师说一个玩具，请学生指出正确的图片。正确的可为本组赢一分。
小学一年级的孩子以听懂会说为主，通过各种游戏来引起他们的兴趣，在这样的一系列的活动中去掌握知识。
新课程标准下的小学英语课堂导入初探
标签： 课程标准 下的 小学 英语课 导入 初探
内容摘要：小学生学习英语能否取得成功，很大程度取决于学习的兴趣，小学英语教学应采取一切可能的方法，使他们喜欢学，乐意学。这就要求我们教师对英语课堂教学的各个环节精心设计。而课堂的导入对一堂新授课起着十分重要的作用。也就是说，导入时要充分调动一切可利用教学资源，采用一系列有效方式，激发学生学习英语的兴趣，培养他们学习英语的积极态度，使兴趣成为他们学习的羽翼，借助这坚硬的翅膀自由飞翔。
关键词：自然、悬念、直观、轻松、趣味、情境
常言道：“万事开头难”，“良好的开端是成功的一半”，新颖活泼、形式多样的导入，就如一股清泉，沁人心脾，吸引学生的注意力，激发学生强烈的求知欲和好奇心，从而调动学生的学习积极性，使学生能积极、主动参与教学过程，提高课堂效率，为整堂课的成功教学奠定良好的基础。
怎样开好头，能使学生迅速进入学习角色，在第一时间内吸引学生的注
《四年级英语笑话超简单的》出自：百味书屋
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